Something happened to me yesterday that I just must tell you about.

A few weeks ago I was the 'MC' for my friends's bridal shower and we had a blast. It was the best shower I had gone to, because it was small, intimate and the ladies were open, honest and very wise in their sharing.
I told you how I had learnt so much about what's going on inside me and how that knowledge has been causing me to grow as a person.

One or two of the bride's friends were not able to attend the Shower. The Bride-to-be said only that a bridesmaid was missing but I didn't know who that might be.
Then she said to me, "You should know the person," and when she called the person's name I realised this bridesmaid was someone who my estranged husband had gotten attached to at one time.

When she said the name I felt really uncomfortable inside, but more than that I felt relieved that she had not come because that would have been so awkward in such a small intimate gathering. I knew the person would have to be at the wedding, but I wasn't really focussing on that then.

The last time I had seen her would have been years ago and I had made my peace with her - after letting her know she was totally out of place sticking her nose in someone else's marriage. I had seen her once in the city after that, and I had greeted her without a problem.

Well, Sol, my friend's wedding was yesterday and I was totally unprepared for what happeneed when I saw "the bridesmaid". I can't even explain it fully. All I know is all the memories and the pain of that time came back with such force I just wanted to run up to that girl and rip her apart.

My goodness, I was in a mess. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to pick a fight and just scratch her eyes out. And I just couldn't stop looking at her, or more truthfully, glaring at her. I was totally unprepared for this response.

I thought I was okay and that I had gotten over this and had dealt with it and was completely healed of it, but that was not the case. Because I did not have to see her or interact with her, it was so easy to believe that I was over it, because it wasn't in my face. Well imagine my surprise when all these feelings came rushing over me.